Mad At God?
While living with my elderly mom of 98 I sometimes become overwhelmed and just don’t know which way I should turn or even how to make one decision and I become so mad at God.
Yes, I became really mad at God because I felt like He wasn’t there to help me. At times I feel like I’m being punished.
Oh yes, I have made my fair share of mistakes and I was the one that was single and available to care for mom so guess what? He chose me.
Being mad at God sometimes left me alone. And that was even worse. Feeling so isolated.
The other day was one of those days and I wanted so bad to be mad at God but I was so desperate when I almost had to just scream at mom that I turned to Him begging for His help.
I felt Him take my hand.
Literally, at that time I decided my life was so bad that I had to let God back in.
I decided at that moment I would trust God and once I did surrender, my burden of caring for mom alone …
THE LOAD LIGHTENED.
I don’t understand it.
I’m not sure how long this will last BUT for today I will put my trust in the One who created me.
I don’t want to ever forget that He is ready for me to come back even when my faith is low.
He’s willing and ready only to the degree that I trust Him.
I need to remember that I’m human and He’s there waiting for me.
Today it’s easier not to be Mad At God.
Being mad at God doesn’t make Him love me any less however He can only help as I open myself to trust in Him.