I moved in with my mother while going thru a tough divorce never thinking I’d actually end up being mom’s in home personal care aide. I figured I’d be there just a few weeks or months. A few short weeks later mom came close to having a stroke and that’s when the doctor discussed with the family that our mom couldn’t live alone any longer. That’s when the in-home care began.
Who wouldn’t, right? That’s when the process began and I was suddenly mom’s In Home Caregiver and I was getting paid. What a blessing in disguise. That was sixteen years ago and maybe even longer.
We’ve had our ups and downs believe me but I am proud that I’ve been able to keep her home where she really wanted to be.
What’s the alternative…nursing home or strangers coming in to care for her.
Is in home care with a family member better and how does it differ from in home care thru a local caregiver agency?
Personal care can be given by a family member or a certified caregiver who has had formal training.
Will keep a closer eye out for different situations that a certified caregiver will not or cannot.
Will make the aging parent feel more comfortable rather than a strange skilled in home care person.
Will be more attentive and sensitive.
How personal care helps the elderly parent living at home have a more vibrant life.
It’s important because you’re making a difference in your parent’s life every day. Share a laugh and these will be treasures for you to cherish. These cherished moments can also act as fuel to keep you hanging in there with all the ups and downs. Looking back on your journey, you will remember those tender moments.
Not all your caregiving is rewarding. Some may be disgusting at times and personal care goes bad. The fact that our aging parent may not want to take a bath or even change clothes.
They may simply forget. This doesn’t necessarily cause a health problem but oh boy it can cause people to not want to be around you.
Despite the challenges, many caregivers intend to walk the last mile with their loved one.
I’ve never thought anything about it honestly, it was a given that was what we do until I saw and read that article which now has me thinking…ABOUT my future without mom and what it will be like after all these years.
There is stress involved in caring for your aging parent and it effects the caregiver too.
One adult child should not be left alone to handle the situation.
When the time comes I have no idea what it will look like around here.
Who pays the price when an elderly parent decides they want to die at home?
Most adult children who give up their life to be the primary family caregiver will pay some kind of price for the decision when your aging loved one wants to die at home.
I have not given it much thought of all that I need to be grateful for, like mom turning 100 years old. We often don’t remember to think of all the things in our life that we could enjoy and appreciate. I look at mom turning 100 years old on May 20th and she is so excited because she will be the oldest one in her family. No other family member lived to be 100 years old. Such a milestone for sure.
I also never realized all the friends we have. Mom is getting flooded with birthday cards and she watches everyday for the mailman. Perhaps if we took time to look at what is good in our life we wouldn’t be so preoccupied with all the bad.
I know I allow my mind to get filled with grievances and I notice the more I think of them the BIGGER they get. We would be much better off if we surrendered to God and all His goodness, don’t get sucked up and controlled in all the negative thinking and stray from all the goodness that is surrounding you.
Live to a 100 years old with grace, integrity, strength, joy and love and it’s an honor to be mom’s caregiver.
Every day a period of thanking God for the love and life that we are so graciously abounded with is necessary for our spiritual development. We need to control our thoughts. Not an easy job in this life but it can be done. No time for self-pity. By doing this we will find our self able to ask for God’s help to manage every area and live in serenity.
God has given us the faculties by which we are able to bear what comes to pass without being crushed or depressed thereby.
Why then do we sit and moan and groan, blind to the Giver, making no acknowledgment to Him, but giving ourselves to complaints? (Epictetus)
I think of the challenges my mother has gone through in her 100 year old life.
Keep our thoughts and words fresh like the running water as it flows on down the hill.
When I look at my challenges I realize that other people’s problems make mine look small and yet they face them with determination and courage.
When I think of what others are facing, my load begins to lighten.
When things look bleak that’s the time to look inside for the light within me.
Don’t let life make you crazy, go out and make this the greatest day of your life.
Loss of hearing comes in different types. The loss can be mild.What is mild hearing loss? On average, the most quiet sounds that people can hear with their better ear are between 25 and 40 dB. People who suffer from mild hearing loss have some difficulties keeping up with conversations, especially in noisy surroundings.
It can be moderate.
What is moderate hearing loss? On average, the most quiet sounds heard by people with their better ear are between 40 and 70 dB. People who suffer from moderate hearing loss have difficulty keeping up with conversations when not using a hearing aid.
It can be severe.
What is severe hearing loss? On average, the most quiet sounds heard by people with their better ear are between 70 and 95 dB. People who suffer from severe hearing loss will benefit from powerful hearing aids, but often they rely heavily on lip-reading even when they are using hearing aids. Some also use sign language.
It certainly can also be profound.
What is profound hearing loss? On average, the most quiet sounds heard by people with a better ear are from 95 dB or more. People who suffer from profound loss of hearing are very hard of hearing and rely mostly on lip-reading, and/or sign language.
Loss of hearing is how well you or your parent can hear other people or noise. It can come on quickly or slowly.
Hearing problems are a very common issue that affects the older population between 65 and older.
In my research I find there is no explanation why we lose more of our hearing as we age. Maybe it’s loud noises over our lifetime that can slowly wear down the inside of our ears. Your genes could also play a very important role in loss of hearing.
Does your parent have to constantly ask people to repeat themselves?
Do they have trouble understanding what the doctor has said to the both of you?
Does their ability to hear sounds make it hard for them to drive their car?
Do they need to have their TV volume up so loud that the other people in the household are going crazy?
Have they stopped going to church because they are unable to hear the pastor’s message?
Do they feel left out when they attend a family gathering and become a silent person because they have no idea what the conversations are around them?
Do they hear others but cannot comprehend what is being said?
Have ringing in their ears?
Is your parent tone deaf?
Hearing impairment can be very serious.
Your first step should be to get examined by the family doctor. They may have an ear full of wax. This alone can cause them to be hard of hearing.
If the doctor recommends an ear cleaning then I suggest going to an ear doctor. I have taken my mom to her family physician and she was in there for over an hour when the nurses flushing and flushing and still didn’t get all the wax. Finally when I took her to an ear doctor we were in and out in 20 min. He sucked that wax out in seconds and we were on our way home. Mom’s ears seem to fill up quickly and can hear a little better once the wax is removed but she still has trouble hearing. I take her on a regular basis for a cleaning, it does help not plug up the hearing aid. Caring for an aging mom takes stamina.
Unable to hear can also be caused by viral or bacterial infections, heart conditions or stroke, head injuries, tumors, and certain medicines so don’t take this mildly. Make an appointment for your parent with their physician.
If they do have a hearing test and find that they are going deaf there are so many treatments and devices to help them that will be recommended by your local ear doctor.
You can learn to make life easier for you and your parent’s but it will take time. I find myself always forgetting to do these small little things that could help the both of us to make hearing for mom a little easier. Here are some things you can do:
Ask your friends and family to look at them when they talk so that your parent can see their faces. If they watch their faces and see their expressions, it could help them to understand the conversation better.
Ask people to speak louder, but not shout. Tell them they do not have to talk slowly, just more clearly. BUT trust me talking louder can become a habit. I find myself talking loud even when mom is not around because it has become a habit for me.
Be aware of noise around the person with the hearing disorder because background noise makes it hard to hear people talk.
Working together to hear better may be tough on everyone for a while. It will take time for them to get used to watching people as they talk and for people to get used to speaking louder and more clearly. Be patient and continue to work together. Hearing better is worth the effort.
Did you know that Noise wears down hearing if it’s loud or continuous? That’s why certain occupations wear earplugs when their ears are exposed to dangerous noise levels every day like our kids and teenagers having their radios up so loud that the neighbors can hear it or the cars riding down the road beside you can feel their car vibrate. To understand the impact of noise, consider this: 44% of carpenters and 48% of plumbers report some hearing loss. Other noisy lines of work include the military, mining, manufacturing, agriculture, and transportation. We need to protect the ears in our younger life.
Did you know that even musicians, who actually create music for our enjoyment, are at risk for hearing loss also? Some now wear special earplugs to protect their ears when they are performing on stage. The earplugs allow them to hear music without harming their ears’ inner workings.
Certain medications can harm ears and cause unbalance. There are many medicines that have side effects so please check with your doctor.
There are certain illnesses likeheart disease, high blood pressure, and also diabetes that interfere with the ears’ blood supply. Many things can cause loss of hearing so ask your physician to explain this to you and your parent in terms that you understand.
Ear Infection or earwax can block ear canals and cause a hearing loss.
Remember that not every hearing aid is the same. Do your due diligence and research. Make sure to ask your parent’s family doctor to refer you to someone who will take their time and be patient with them. It will take time to get used to the new hearing aid.
Your loved one may need to have several fittings of their hearing aid, and you will need to get directions on how to help them use it. Hearing aids use batteries, which they will need to change on a regular basis. You may have to do it for them. They also may need repairs from time to time. Buy a hearing aid that has only the features that they need.
There are many devices that can help your parent with hearing loss.
Many products will help them live a little better and not feel isolated. Caption telephones, alerts that help with hearing the doorbell, smoke detectors and even alarm clocks that talks to you.
There are many things you can do about a hearing loss disorder but you will have to search. I know we did. And it can be time consuming but worth it. Right below is a telephone for people with severe hearing loss. I’m always searching for something that will make mom and my life better and easier.
Check out The NIDCD (National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders) for it maintains a directory of organizations that provide information on the normal and disordered processes of hearing, balance, taste, smell, voice, speech, and language.
Loss of hearing effects everyone around and causes many issues that can arise when caring for your aging father or mother. It takes a determined person to get thru the daily duties and not throw your hands up and run because there will be days you feel like giving up. Until the next page. I wish you well.
mild memory lapse such as forgetting where you put your keys or reading glasses, though worrisome, are normal, experts say…
Dementia patients however, forget where they are or to go to the bathroom. Alzheimer’s Disease is irreversible. I go blank many times wondering if I’m losing my memory or my mind and I’m sure you have too from being smacked in the face with all the crazy stuff that hits us daily.
There are so many things that can cause blackout today.
We have so much information bombarding us from every direction that it’s no wonder we have trouble remembering everything.
I walked into Walmart yesterday and the first thing I see is an overhead screen with a video of some product in their store. You drive down the highway and see billboards staring you in the face.
Our brains just can’t handle all the information that is smacking us in the face and it will continue to get worse as technology improves.
There are several reasons for short term memory other than overload of info and they are as follows…
Medications could be a culprit…
How are your sleep habits…
Are you stressed over life itself…
What about your diet…
Some form of head injury…
Do you have an overactive thyroid…
A lack of sufficient B12…
Falls where you may have hit your head…
And of course information overload.
Alzheimer’s Disease is irreversible.
I am sure the list could go on and on from here but you get the point, RIGHT? I will be adding pages on Dementia and Alzheimer’s since we are caring for our aging parents. Don’t be surprised if you forget occasionally and have a little memory loss because of the anxiety of being the provider for your elderly parents. This is bound to happen. Keep looking up and I will get the info to you soon on these two topics.
As we continue on this journey of providing care for our loved ones we need to be informed. I have taken so many classes that are required of me to continue caring for my own 98 year old mother that I decided I could not keep this info to myself but needed to put it in my own words and what I have seen dealing with family and friends. Memory loss is at the top of the list. I hope this at least helps YOU. Please share this information with your circle of influence because we never know who is hurting in this big old world of ours. Until the next page…I wish you well.
If you have a routine nurse visits for your parent ask them about bladder training.
Put a schedule up to remind your loved one to go to the bathroom. They tend to forget.
Wash bed sheets and clothing in white vinegar.
You can use baking soda but do not mix it with vinegar. One or the other but not together.
Your local janitorial supply has cleaner specifically for urine smells that are for controlling urine smells.
Always cover your bed and furniture with reusable waterproof pads. I always have a pad on the floor in front of the potty chair for leakage.
You more than likely will have to put a bedside commode over the regular toilet to raise the seat, purchase a toilet seat that is raised or put in a higher toilet. This makes it much easier for older people.
Elder people more than not have to resort to wearing adult diapers or protective underwear. They may be embarrassed when you approach this but in time they will come to have more dignity and not worry about having an accident while out and about.
Did you know that more women than men are likely to show signs of incontinence?
If you have an aging parent with dementia no doubt they will begin to forget the need to go to the bathroom and you will begin to notice the odor of incontinence.
Diabetes (some nerve damage)
Can cause incontinence.
Always, always communicate with the family physician.
Incontinence is NOT a disease but a symptom.
Make a note to let the family doctor know when you smell an odor of incontinence.
Discuss what other options you may have.
More than not, your parent will leave a lot of information out because they are either embarrassed, forget or don’t want to take any more medication.
It’s up to you as their caregiver to inform the dr.
Medicaid Recovery Estate Secret they don’t want you to find.
Do you know the medicaid recovery estate secret? Family Caregivers have had enough! Sacrifice your life, then find yourself on the curb? It’s admirable to give up our life and family to care for an elderly parent but we’re a “HUMAN” Too!
YES, we have feelings, emotions and health issues too. And, yes, there are advantages of caring for an aging parent. Building lasting memories <3
Now I know that Medicaid will want to get reimbursed some how some way. We have paid into the government for years and years and after our loved one has passed away the government or Medicaid now wants to take the home place and the estate so they can recoup what they paid out so learn the medicaid estate recovery secret before it’s to late by clicking the blue link right ==> so you don’t have to worry about your future if you know the correct steps to take!
Which is why reading this article and learning your rights to the Medicaid Recovery Estate Secret is very important to you or a family member.
Being a family caregiver ain’t all popsicles and baby giggles.
> You don’t get paid diddly-squat.
> It takes forever (and a day) *to* find support.
> Your life has been reversed.
> The odds are way way WAY against you, there will be many ups and downs.
> Those who beat the odds usually end up broke, physically wore out, mentally and emotionally drained.
I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture, don’t you? And look, call me a negative person all you want. But I’ve lived it and still living it… I’ve cared for 3 family members and several friends and still the primary caregiver to my 99 year old mother.
You have to be committed! Time and time again family caregivers
… work their butt off…
… only to be left with a maxed-out credit card, no savings and maybe sitting on the curb.
Has this ever happened to someone you know? If so, stop right now.
Learn what the ‘Medicaid Recovery Estate Secret’ is about.
Poof.. PART of your problem solved.
Hey, it’s Donna Harris aka ‘Donna The Crazy Caregiver’.
We put this special report together called:
Discover The ‘Medicaid Recovery Estate Secret’ They Don’t Want You To Know…
Because, well, that’s what we felt like we had to do. (Could be your solution.) If you’re worried about the sacrifice you’ve made and not knowing what your future will look like… after taking care of everyone but yourself…
Best of all, hopefully you will no longer have to worry about where you will go after your aging parent has passed.
> You call the shots, NOT Medicaid.
> Take control of your future.
> The info is all public.
> You just have to have the time and energy to locate it.
> And nobody can pull the rug out from under you once this is secure.
NOW take just a few minutes to learn more below. And once you click the link, the info could SET YOU FREE. (It will, if you do it right.)
“Sounds too good to be true,” you might think. Listen, you need to get busy while your parents are still on this earth with you. You still gotta learn some stuff. And put in the work. But it’s a small price to pay considering the upside. Besides, relax. You could be saving thousands of dollars.
Let me prove it. I can back up everything I just said and show you how this adult daughter, ME.. saved my mother’s home…
Even if you have no money and no clue where to start, in fact, all you need is a laptop to get started.
Hey, I know you want to get this taken care of. I know you don’t enjoy breaking your back while everyone else has a life and building a nest egg.
AND the fact that, after the passing of your aging parent, some stranger can put a letter in the mail to you… without warning and tell you they are taking everything that your parents saved and worked hard for …
I know how devastating it would be to receive a letter like this right after you lost your loved one.
So get the facts on the State Medicaid Recovery Estate Secret!
If you take charge right now and get this taken care of the chances of getting a letter in the mail with this kind of news is less likely to happen. So let me help you get this DONE!
… If you’ve “had it up to here” with the government funded agencies that are slow-moving when you need help but QUICK when there is something in it for them and offers you zero peace of mind.
It’s time to get your ducks in a row and get prepared for the day that you may be dreading. Here’s what you need to do, right now:
When you get there, watch the very short video and read every word on the page. If you decide there is value in it for you and your family, then go ahead and click the link and learn what could be one of the most important days of your life. Once you click the link it will take you to a page where you can type in your very best email. Type it in manually if you’re on mobile. (Using “autofill” sometimes messes it up.) Then check your inbox.